Extreme Rant ... Free Falling

I remember it like it was yesterday. How twenty-seven years can just blow by, I know not. All I know is that I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was night, a Wednesday. I felt a gentle breeze, unknown to those three hundred feet below me. Sometimes when I sit in this rotting wooden chair and reflect, I can still feel the tenderness of that breeze. My feet were dangling from the edge, so free that they swayed in unison with the birds that flew overhead. I closed my eyes and looked up to the stars. My eyes were closed but I could see each star, bright as ever. They shone so bright that I could feel my shadow behind me, dancing in delight. He wasn't around much at night.

I wanted to go there, where the stars were. I always knew I didn't belong here. This feeling....it confused me, muddled my thoughts. I tried hard to think, to reason, but I couldn't concentrate. I was distracted by the sound of the incessant thumping of my heart. I wished that the sounds of the cars on the road below were louder so as to drown out the shrieking protests of my heart. I took solace in knowing that there would be silence soon.

And then I was flying. I felt gravity leave my body. I felt no weight. I flew to the past. I saw myself as a child, doing what children do. I saw myself as a wanting man, doing what men do. I saw myself as I am now, full of imperfection, but seeking fulfillment in the night's sky.

And then I was falling. Faster and faster and faster towards that hard, bitter ground. I could feel my skin begin to burn with the heat. And in a moment I was there. The dirt on the ground vaulted into the air to welcome me.

The dirt was eager, but i was not. I felt a gentle breeze, unknown to those among the stars. The breeze held me suspended, a foot from the ground. She cradled me as a mother would her child. In a moment I felt heavy again, but she took the weight.

I opened my eyes, and I was here again, my feet dangling from the edge. The tenderness of the breeze against my skin.

I remember it like it was yesterday.