Extreme Rant: End of a Beginning...

A lot has happened in this Summer of Love. I can say with a mild lucidity, that I did indeed fall in love. I went through the drama of it even though it may not have been apparent to me at the time. For now, my Summer of Love has been like a mud path, as many are, with a winding sort of direction, and pretty flowers on the way. And as always, I encourage naivety with your thoughts, for then we can forget about the more unimportant, yet necessary physicality at hand (as it were), and focus on the rest (however less impressive, and entertaining, and interesting, and in all, just plain boring) that might be. So for the lack of anything really of substance to show off about, or rather to bother writing about at all... read on.

So yes, The Summer of Love has brought me to a number of conclusions, let's call them the 'utter rubbish' findings, about well, people in general. The most interesting of them is that as individuals, we all choose our personalities. That sounds pretty obvious, I know, but what I found peculiar, is how often those personalities, or rather, portrayals, are almost always in one way or another, disconnected with who we really are. Maybe it is a wanting to become that personality that drives us to be the artist or the intellectual or the mystery or the lustrous, but how close to our bare nakedness is that true to?

Or maybe it works the other way and I've got it all wrong. Maybe you choose a personality to channel yourself to reality. Because otherwise you would be too bare and trivial to feed your existence. Hmm...

It happens though, in a haste of subconsciousness, that a tone or a look or a bunch of words leak out of your personality. It's like a moment of public nakedness, that you silently and shyly realized too. Like speaking before you've thought of what you're saying. And that reflexive glimpse is so harsh sometimes, that you might surprise yourself. But It is in that moment, that I can see you. That moment has made all our conversations and interactions worth while. Because that glimpse tells me the truth that is hidden...

**********

We all love beauty. We all want to be around beauty. We all want to be beautiful. And we will manipulate our ideals and our decisions to tailor that need. Beauty is comforting and exciting and unpredictable. It's almost like a drug that takes us away from the true reality of things. Beauty, even in the most obvious sense, is never real. Not this beauty. Not the beauty I was looking for in the Summer of Love.

There is a beauty though, that lies beyond our personalities. It is shameless. It is clueless. And it is naive. It is often mistaken for the sleeping, but I know now, that I need to be woken up.


.