Early morning rant... just another blog post...

I'm trying to get a blog-ball rolling here. If that means posting when I don't want to, well so be it.

A couple of weeks ago, I was at a gathering of a bunch of students. These are the moments that make me feel like college is what is should be. Sometimes I wish that my days would be like a movie, with all the monotonous boring crap cut out. There is a lot of time in between the moments that are actually worth putting in the final cut. So much time in between. Anyway, I deter.

Well at this gathering, many people gave talks and presentations and such. One person in particular, Amad*, gave well, for the lack of a better description, a motivational talk on living day to day life. He said many catchy things such as "Ask yourself everyday, did you live an Oscar worthy day today" (That is where the previous paragraph probably stemmed from) and " Don't wait for opportunity, make yourself an opportunity", or something along the lines of that. It was indeed quite interesting.

Last week, I also found myself spending Wednesday evening at a free screening of 'Flow', which is a movie about a very serious issue pertaining to water and how we are getting royally screwed over by huge ass companies who think that if they have enough money, the world will not blow up. It was a hellova contemplative night. Watch the documentary for free HERE.

A few nights ago, I decided to watch a movie that I hadn't seen in a while. It's called 'Instinct' and it has a bunch of cool actors in it but its apparently unheard of amongst my friends. Its about a very very very complex subject of whether or not we as a human race would have been better off without the creation of the civilized world. It explores the mind of a man living in the wild, or rather, a man living as part of the wild. Yes, it was a thinker. And the acting helped. Watch it. Please.

And in between all of that, I came across a song by Cat Stevens, called 'Father and Son'. The song is in the form of a conversation between an old man and his son. The man keeps telling his son that he needs to calm down and take it easy, that he is young and there is a lot that he has to learn, but the son is stubborn and won't listen. He is in a hurry to grow up and to launch himself into a worldly adventure away from a society that is suffocating him.

Ive also spent last night watching TED talks, after quite a while. It was exactly what my mind needed after getting fucked over and over and over again by all of the aforementioned. The most interesting talk of the night was by THIS GUY, who also happens to be an artist. It turns out that artist are generally interesting people by nature. Think of it this way, wouldn't it be awesome have a conversation over tea with a photographer, who has traveled to three different war-zones and captured photographs that have been on the cover of TIME magazine? Artists transcend their stories into a language that us mango people can appreciate, and at the end of the day, isn't it about just that? Our lives are a collection of stories that include other living entities, and when our time is up on earth, that's all we will have. Memories and stories. Oh yea, THIS GUY could give you a couple of hints on how to be happy. It was a bit too much food for thought, and I'm stuffed. I wonder what would happen if I started today, and began walking down to California. I wonder.

I have to stay here in Toronto a little while longer. Its my big cage, and even though there are corners left to explore, I am stuck in one. It's called UofT St. George. I think I'm being disciplined for something. I don't know what though, atleast not yet. There are moments when I do learn a thing or two. But then there are those monotonous moments in between. Long long moments in between. Sometimes all I can do is wait from one enlightening moment to another, and I forget to go through the boring bits in between. It's only then that I realize that without the TV timeouts and the potty-breaks, the entire movie collapses. What a drag.

I guess there are a lot of things that we can fill those in-between moments with. An interesting book. A spontaneous subway ride to nowhere. Maybe a really good blog post. Something that would revive you every three seconds. That's how long a moment is. Three seconds. Live your life as if the next three seconds are the most important three seconds of your entire life. The next three seconds are the last three seconds of the ball game, you are down by one and the ball is in your court. You take the shot and make it. Those were a great three seconds. Now you have to top it in the next three. Now that's an intense life. That's the kind of life I want.

For now, I shall wait on my daily dose of mindfuckedness and blog-worthy update. I shall see you soon, my beloved three readers.

Twinkle part 2.. Its been a while...

She kissed me and I could feel her smile even before her lips left mine. Her warm breath tickled my nose as we finally drew apart. “I need to go now”, she whispered. “Alright…”, I said. “I’m serious! I really need to leave”, the smile still lingered on her face. “Go ahead…”, I said with a fictitious seriousness. She punched my chest, in playful disappointment. “Fuck you!”, she chuckled as she slowly stepped away from me.

I stood there, and watched her walk away. She knew I was watching her but she didn’t dare turn around. She knew too well how that would feed my ego. Such a simple comfort, but it summed up all that we were.

For part 1, click idhar(here).

An open letter to Deepika Padukone

Dear Deepika,

This is my first open letter to anyone and I'm not quite sure why I am writing one to you, but I guess that you can claim the privileged either way.

Over the past couple of years, I have come to the realization that I have turned into a hopeless romantic. I have been sans-girlfriend for many years, and it is my honest opinion that one Deepika Padukone, i.e, you, have the perfect solution to the situation. You may be asking me, "What the fuck?", and justifiably too. Through this letter, I shall try to express my thoughs with hopefully a sound balance between sensible reasoning and lustrous zest.

As I have already mentioned earlier, my past few years have been, lets say, a forlorn time and it has been so because of my significantly unique circumstance. You see, my first 'female interaction' was with my school Headmasters daughter. She was also very hot and well even though we meandered through and around trees and such, twas without the spice of artificial rain, if you know what I mean. My second, and well only countable significant interaction with a non-male, as it were, was with a girl who was not only superior to me in many ways, but also extremely understanding and well to put it honestly, effing brilliant.

Now therein lies my predicament. The only few girls that I have befriended (forget be-bedded), have been either frekin hot, or frekin hot and effing brilliant. Now I believe in linear growth when it comes to living and that is where you fit in perfectly. You may think again think, "What the fuck?”. Let me explain further.

From the extremely intimate interactions that I have had with you, through such feature films as Love Aaj Kal (LAK) and that other one, I believe that you hold the key emotional, spiritual, practical, and physical characteristics that would perfectly compliment my own personality. Let us take for example, certain aspects of your traits. You showed your extremely smooth wit when bar-bantering with Saif Ali Khan. This brings to light the ease with which we could spend hours on end, chit-chatting about the trivialities of this world and I couldn't imagine a silent awkwardness ever existing. Of course, when the more passionate silent moments do present themselves, they will be personified due to the intensity of the contrasting silence.

You might want to know certain logistical mismatches right off the bat, and frankly, I am and have always been a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of guy. I am currently studying in Toronto, and considering your current field of work, we might have to explore the possibility of long distance communication. However, I don't believe that it would be a problem because of my immense faith in our working out. Also, since you are a person of media-noted stature, I would like to believe a trip every once in a while to Toronto, for some face to face time wouldn't be too out there...

Also, my professional life is kind of a mess. I have hardly any money and no job as of yet. This lack of employment could be seen as a bonus for your cause as this gives me more time to romanticize about you and do such things as write poetry and love letters. I live in a small, but cozy room in a house with one bathroom that I share with four other people. Given your obvious precise and calculated appearance, you probably take a long time to get ready in the morning. You might need to sacrifice some of the detail due to a lack of bathroom time, but do keep in mind that if you become too sloppy, we might have to talk about it. Also, I do not have a mirror in my room, and often more than not, you might leave the house with inaccurate makeup. I can let you use my MacBook web-camera to get a vague idea, but it is often a lot less telling than a mirror.

I think that physically, we are a good match. I am aspiring to an Arjun Rampal-esque physique (when he was smoking hot), and will get there.. eventually. I understand that you are around 5'9" tall and even though I am an inch or two (maybe threeish) shorter, I take solace in the fact that your preferred choice of footwear are flats (as seen in LAK). I will make an effort to walk around on my toes for the most of our time together. Also, we cannot discard the possibility that I may still have some growing left to do.

I think that my easy-going spirit will compliment yours extremely well. I can so easily imagine us sitting on a beach somewhere, watching the sunrise, arm in arm. Our relationship wouldn't be based on materialistic illusions such as money or financial stability. Rather I would drown you in the essence of a true romantic. A romance fit to be written as a New York Times Bestseller. We wouldn't ever have a mundane moment. How could we? The way I see it, we are soul mates, and if I need to write this letter to get your attention, then so be it! I say down with this social hierarchy bullshit. Who says you need to be a celebrity to get with one?

You see Deepika, I believe that at the end of the day, you and I, we aren't that different. Sure more people might know your name, but I can tell you this - you can give a million interviews and do a billion movies, and people will still not know who you are. You see, I don't look at you as Deepika Padukone, The Supermodel and The Bollywood Megastar. I see you as that Mango Person who has a story that maybe you have lost in a story that someone else wrote for you. I am willing to hear your story, however interview-unworthy it might be. And if you can’t find it in the glare of the limelight, we can take a life changing adventure of self-realization and discovery and who knows what might happen.

It's all up to you now.....

Forever Yours,

Udai.

p.s To keep in the spirit of complete honesty, I have included a picture of myself that I took this morning.

Jam

I like jam toast, strawberry butter always clumpy sweet crunchy crispy yum. Jam on toast, toast on jam, toasted jam untoasted jam :O, just jam, just toast. What?!

There are times of enlightenment. Times that you and I have created and will create. Jam times with peanut butter spoonfuls. Times where this reality is cracked open and filled in like a jelly-jam donut. Imagine swimming in jam. Being one with jam. At the end of the day thats all anybody is doing anyway. Just Jammin'