24 Hours

You know how some people say, "I just have no time, I'm so busy!"... or maybe at some point in your life you've said it too? I know I have. And every time I've said it, I've been lying....

I always have time to do things. Things that I want to do, or even things that I should be doing. I've got time to go to the gym or to make a new painting, or to practice some drums or to do all of those things that I should be doing. But instead I lie in bed and do nothing. I watch TV shows from start to finish, I rearrange the things in my room and call it 'cleaning up', and the best one of them all, Facebook time. 

I think we all are really busy, just not necessarily busy 'doing things'. Our minds are so switched on nearly all of the time that we just feel exhausted. At least I do. I'm so super connected with the world, and I'm taking in so much information (mostly useless internet things), that I feel like yes, I am so busy and I just have no time at all! I have to be constantly checking my three emails, my WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype, SMS and on and on and on. If I were to figure out how to use this Twitter thing and Instagram, my brain would probably explode. If someone is trying to get in touch with me, twenty different electronic devices start frantically buzzing and beeping. I mean what insanity is that! Just think! Thats fucking insane!!

I don't think it's that sinful to be connected online, or to procrastinate or just be lazy. I think that it hurts more when we start doing these things unconsciously. When we are unaware of exactly how much time we spend burning energy while we think that 'this is downtime'. 

Nobody can be a hundred percent productive. Nobody can spend 24 meaningful hours everyday. So these are a few questions that I start asking myself today: I have 24 hours today. How much of that time do I need to be switched on, and what do I need to do so that I can switch off. Do I absolutely need to be connected at every conscious moment, and if I do, then how much energy is that taking away from me? 

Honestly, I don't want to be counting hours and keeping track of every single thing that I did or did not do. We are constantly under this pressure to DO things in our lives, to become somebody, to avoid fading into oblivion. That's a lot of fucking pressure man. Damn. I guess I'll get to it after this episode of Suits. 

One Year On - Chapter 1-Point-Restart

It has been exactly 52 weeks since my last blog post here, and for someone who has spent a reasonable amount of time studying numbers and the beauty in symmetry,  it feels like a good time to write something.

I've grown up a little. I've done some life things, and I feel like my perspective on life has changed quite a bit. Next month will be five years in Canada. Looking back, It's really been a story of ups and downs, and it's always true what they say; you always remember the downtimes, and so easily forget the good times. I think looking back and reminiscing on ones achievements is healthy, but it's also important to have the ability to have your failures close to you to push you to be better and better and better.

I work now. Desking, at a computer for a good portion of my day, with the reality of tasks, and the unwanted luxury of time to think.  I think that the one thing that has drastically changed my attitude, is how I have to set my own goals now. Life goals. Character defining ambitions and dreams. There's no basketball tournament to train for. There are no final exams to study for. Those were all just pseudo goals getting you ready for this moment. The moment that you realize that it's all open court now. Anything goes, and you are your only pagemaster. You dictate the plot, the strife, the reward, and if you're lucky, the character you will play. You might not know the twists and turns yet, but you have the power to always write another page.