Thursday, January 17, 2008

Extreme Rant - Amalgamation

have you ever felt like the world around you is falling apart. just like a bad dream or a really horrible movie that you dont really want to watch, things begin to go wrong. theres this intense feeling of lonliness as if you are the only one who can see these things around you fall apart. nobody can understand the feeling i feel right now. i am the only one who feels it. others could feel the same way as i do. they could experience the same twist of emotions, but there is only one me. you cannot be me and feel this.

sympathy is hard to come by in a world of shameful silence. i type these words being an utmost hypocrite. a cynic and a useless bystander... chosing not to do anything about it...

when had i made this choice?

have you ever felt like you are missing out? the intensity of an mp3 recording is near to lifeless. the songs on the radio seem to forever be trapped. the winds seem restricted.... the rain falls with permission... so whats left? why does time play these tricks with me. i know that nobody belongs to time... and yet we all do belong to time... why does it tempt me with things it cannot give me?

everytime i jump, i come back to the ground. two feet high... maybe a few more inches... and then i return. one second... maybe another moment... and then i return.

everything that leaves the ground must return, a law discovered by a man who sat under an apple tree. it was nature that showed him the light....

who is nature? can i befriend nature, request her to change her laws... to make an exception.

i have gone through this moment so many times in my head. i dream about it, even when im not asleep... and yet i dont want it bad enough. if i wanted it so much... if i needed it... i would grab it with both hands, because i can see it...

it lies on a shelf... 10 feet above my head...

so now i stand at a junction and i ask you... whoever you are... to give me strenght
give me strength to rise above myself... to flood this land with the awesome passion that fills me...
or else drain me... drain me and my spirit and my soul... for i shall be worth nothing but dry dust that covers the walls in eternal wait.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"i have gone through this moment so many times in my head. i dream about it, even when im not asleep... and yet i dont want it bad enough. if i wanted it so much... if i needed it... i would grab it with both hands, because i can see it...

it lies on a shelf... 10 feet above my head... "

I know that feeling.

Oh this is Sonia by the way, and i couldn't find your blog so i googled your name and look what i found
http://www.boscofernandes.com/index_files/Page1239.htm

There's a picture of you there... From 1998 with a guy Xerxes.
And also, I think your cell number's on the internet. You should get it off!

Anusha said...

haha sonia i found that too...when i typed his name instead..
coz when i typed in your blog id, it kept coming as 404..BLAH BLAH...and coming to realisation LAATERR on...that i had a few spelling errors :P

coming back to your post, I would say..
it sounds quiet sappy...sorry..
but especially the last few lines.