this is what i fear most... the blank empty box... so im filling it up real quick so i don't get the chance to think about it... its my way to deal with things i fear... do it quick so i don't realize the impact of my actions until ive done it and now i cant really go back...........
ok... huge realization... been meaning to write this down for some time now.... people are always fretting on the meaning of life... and our purpose here and all that... well this is what i think.... i don't care if its true or not or if its what i want to hear that i hear
i have lived 17 year and i have experienced some things... some i still wait to experience... but one thing that i have experienced in a big way is failure... and if its one thing that i have learnt from my failures... it is this....
i have realized that i want to spend my life trying to give to others what i couldn't get... and this might seem immature for a 17 year old to say... but its true to me and that's whats important... every person has certain desires... every person gets depressed... sad... i know that sinking feeling... i want to be able to change and be able to create those opportunities that i dream of having...
i am an idealist... i believe everyone to be like me... i believe that people feel the same emotions.. think the same way... it will be my downfall... but i will never stop believing in me.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Extreme Rant Vol 3 ch 2 I dont care what you believe!! =P
There are only four questions of life
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for?
The answer to all is the same
only love
Destiny is a funny thing... you never quite know when it hits you in the face. Sometimes you do recognize it...simple things in our daily lives...the feeling that you experience when something like that does happen can only be described as awe... over the past few days, i have experienced quite a lot, i have had a lot of time to think, and i have gone thorough many an emotion... but nothing could compare to that particular smile on my face when i knew that i had experienced destiny.
You might be thinking that this guy is full of shit, talking as if he knows all about the spirit, the higher being and all that.... truth is that i don't really know about what i know, because there are very few people who actually know, and i have never confirmed with them if what i know is.
Ok... down to it... my first experience was on the first of July... i had joined an art of living course and didn't know exactly where the place was... when we finally reached the location, i couldn't believe my eyes... there, across the art of living building, was the building with the golden waves... better known as the new gold souq. I had been looooonging to go to the building with the golden waves for quite some time now, but i never knew where it was, or had the resources to actually get there.... and there it was, across the road....
my second experience was just a few minutes ago... i opened my blog... decided to write a post, but couldn't think of nything special... so i went downstairs to see what was on the tele... there was a movie on...i had seen this movie ages ago... and in a specific scene, i remembered that the actor says the lines above... the ones about love... and i never remembered what he said... but i knew it was awsome... and when i switched on the tele... that particular scene was on...the first thing i heard... blog post destiny!
if that aint destiny... i don't know what is...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Extreme rant Vol. 3 ch 1 - What Does This Mean??
there are times in my life when i want to be completely alone... shut out from the rest of the world... and there are times when i feel so insignificant that it hurts...
those are the times that i tend to think to myself about all those other people around the world who never seem to be lonely... significant people...and then I'm wondering... i couldn't be completely insignificant... i do have my own little responsibilities and relationships... just in a less glamorous way...
but isn't that what we all are aiming for in life... I want to go to an awsome good looking college... i want to get a nice position at a successful company... i want to have a nice apartment and a good looking girlfriend.
but then i ask myself this question... why? ... why do i want all these things that i know are unimportant... why am i kidding myself... such a paradox really, to know that ur fooling yourself and then live life in pursuit of that dream, a life filled with false hopes which we prefer to call dreams.
im not a negative person... im not a pessimist.. mostly :P ... i too want the awsome cool life... and that is where im lacking in understanding... that is where im lacking in self belief...
now self belief? what the hell does that have to do with anything? the simple fact is that one always tends to want to prove something to someone else... i want to make sure that everybody knows how awsome and great my life is.... why is it that i cant find the courage to say ... f*** the world... and for once let me prove to myself that i am capable of achieving something... it doesn't have to be on youtube, it doesn't have to be a hot conversation topic.... but a silent achievement which leads to you appreciating yourself.
when i have learnt this... things will change... in the long run... there will be more people who see me for who i am and not for what i wear.
those are the times that i tend to think to myself about all those other people around the world who never seem to be lonely... significant people...and then I'm wondering... i couldn't be completely insignificant... i do have my own little responsibilities and relationships... just in a less glamorous way...
but isn't that what we all are aiming for in life... I want to go to an awsome good looking college... i want to get a nice position at a successful company... i want to have a nice apartment and a good looking girlfriend.
but then i ask myself this question... why? ... why do i want all these things that i know are unimportant... why am i kidding myself... such a paradox really, to know that ur fooling yourself and then live life in pursuit of that dream, a life filled with false hopes which we prefer to call dreams.
im not a negative person... im not a pessimist.. mostly :P ... i too want the awsome cool life... and that is where im lacking in understanding... that is where im lacking in self belief...
now self belief? what the hell does that have to do with anything? the simple fact is that one always tends to want to prove something to someone else... i want to make sure that everybody knows how awsome and great my life is.... why is it that i cant find the courage to say ... f*** the world... and for once let me prove to myself that i am capable of achieving something... it doesn't have to be on youtube, it doesn't have to be a hot conversation topic.... but a silent achievement which leads to you appreciating yourself.
when i have learnt this... things will change... in the long run... there will be more people who see me for who i am and not for what i wear.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Extreme Rant Vol 2 Ch 4- Stupid Time
i hate time. Time is that stupid thing that always screws your Prince of Persia game up. Time is that stupid thing that you always lose and never gain. Time is such a stupid thing!
There are moments in my life that i wish i could relive... maybe do things differently. Now you must be thinking, this kid is only 16, how regretful could he possibly be?
Only a regretful 16 year old would understand.
life today has become a challenge, a competition of man against time, but more often than not, by the time we realize this, its too goddamn late! It is scary, how close Prince of Persia is related to real life. Each one of us starts off with a full meter, not knowing the challenges that lie ahead of us. With time, we gain experience, and learn the tricks of the trade. towards the end, we realize that it is a race against time. you panic, rush, and muck up even more, and you never get the goddamn princess!!!
People say that one must find solace in the fact that there will be a brighter future, and to know that you have contributed to molding that future should compensate for the time that you have lost in your life... what bull...
the only happyness or satisfaction that i would ever get, is if i was part of that future... selfish and self obsessed as it may seem. but unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.
time and i have a special relationship. It is the only thing that i know i will have in my dying breath... the only thing that i can take from this earth with me when my life is over... and for that, i am grateful.
There are moments in my life that i wish i could relive... maybe do things differently. Now you must be thinking, this kid is only 16, how regretful could he possibly be?
Only a regretful 16 year old would understand.
life today has become a challenge, a competition of man against time, but more often than not, by the time we realize this, its too goddamn late! It is scary, how close Prince of Persia is related to real life. Each one of us starts off with a full meter, not knowing the challenges that lie ahead of us. With time, we gain experience, and learn the tricks of the trade. towards the end, we realize that it is a race against time. you panic, rush, and muck up even more, and you never get the goddamn princess!!!
People say that one must find solace in the fact that there will be a brighter future, and to know that you have contributed to molding that future should compensate for the time that you have lost in your life... what bull...
the only happyness or satisfaction that i would ever get, is if i was part of that future... selfish and self obsessed as it may seem. but unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.
time and i have a special relationship. It is the only thing that i know i will have in my dying breath... the only thing that i can take from this earth with me when my life is over... and for that, i am grateful.
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