Extreme Rant... I am what you make of me....

I really like to write about myself, but i just realized that I am what i am because of you... so this one's for you

You cared about me the most even though u didn't need to. You trusted me because you understood who i was, and when i let you down, you forgave me in an instant. You always spoke your mind and you were never afraid of what people thought. You taught me that friends always come first. What you didn't realize is that when you needed me, I needed you more, and when you thought that i was there for you, it was actually you who was there for me.
***

If i have achieved anything the past few years, it's because of you. You showed me so much about myself because you were able to see me in a way that no one ever could. You stood by me when i needed someone, even though i never asked. You knew my imperfections, but instead of ignoring them, you embraced them as a part of me. Together, we discovered music, and it has changed both our lives forever. We spoke about everything, and yet, we never ran out of things to talk about. People could spend a lifetime looking for a friend like you, but more than my friend, you were my brother.
***

You were my big bundle of joy, spectacular in your very special way. You valued the small things in our friendship, and we shared something very unique in this simplicity. You appreciated me when nobody else did, and I know that you meant every word you said. We might not have much in common, but you shared and understood my feelings in such a profound manner and you made it easy to be your friend. You were always humble, even when you never got the credit that you deserve. There are very few people who are as awesome as you are, and even fewer as lucky as I am, to have you as my friend.
***

1, 2, 3, OLA!

i have neglected this place for quite some time, and i dont like that i have.


what is nirvana? can you close your eyes right now, take a deep breath and experience that overwhelming feeling of absolute connection with the air that cushions your body? can you feel that electrifying static of energy that is ready to bound from your skin at any given chance? do you feel alive in this moment?

i admit that i am impatient. when it comes to feeling good, i want to feel good now! but sometimes things take time. people take time and emotions take time to develop and it pisses the hell out of me, but thats just the way it is right? but i also like to think i have a choice. i have a choice to feel good whenever i want and my reason for doing so is the simple fact that having the choice of feeling good at any given time kinda makes me feel good.. :P

so i am going to jump, and i am going to sing, and i am going to dance and i am going to shout at the top of my lungs so that everyone around me knows that i feel good and that they have a choice to do the same. i am not going to spend my words on searching for my happiness, for the simple fact is that my silence will let me hear it coming towards me, and when i close my eyes i will see it surround me, and when i take a deep breath, i will smell it and feel it enter me.

and then i will be happy.

extreme rant...so true

Do you ever feel like there are some days that you just don't feel like yourself... its one of those feelings that you cant really describe, but ill try anyway....

i feel like there's this huge rock sitting on my chest, and it keeps getting heavier and heavier. I feel like its impossible to carry my own weight anymore... i don't control the words i say, the things i do...

I miss you, who ever you are, wherever you are... i need you right now

Extreme Rant Volume 2 billion Ch 1... Dear Sir,

'Are you afraid sir?'
'Afraid of what?'
'Afraid sir, of being inadequate. Afraid that you have come this far, and you find that there is someone stronger, faster, smarter than you are. Afraid that even though you are in the right place at the right time, you really are not.'
'All the time.'

'Are you hurt sir?'
'Hurt?'
'Yes sir, hurt. Hurt that while you lay to rest at night, there is someone out there who is sweating blood to be better than you. Hurt that nothing ever works out the way you imagine. Hurt that you are alone.'
'I guess I am...'

'So then why do you do it sir? Why do you continue down this road of fallacy and hopelessness? Why don't you just give up?'

'I... I don't know...'

American Idol Season 7 What I Think!!

Aight.. i need to do this post now because i fear it will be too late in 6 weeks time... This post is my attempt to knock some sense into anyone who comes to this page and doesnot agree with this post (i think that about covers everyone).

Im going to keep this short and sweet... here are my top five american idol performances and my top four contestants this year... and i doubt the latter list will change...

Contestants:
4. Syesha Mercado (Yes, he said it)
3. Carly Smithson
2. Michael Johns
1. David Cook

Performances:

5. Michael Johns - We Are The Champions - Week 3


4. Syesha Mercado - I Will Always Love You - Week 4


3. Carly Smithson - Come Together - Week 1


2. Michael Johns - It's All Wrong - Week 4



1. (drum roll) David Cook - Billie Jean - Week 3



I dare anyone to disagree!!! muahahahahaha