This post is for all the other confused nineteen-year-olds out there who couldn't sleep last night.
Growing up is hard. You have to worry about getting educated. You have to worry about maturity and food and ambition. Worry about money and family and friends. About school and summers and weight and hair. About what people think, about what education means to you. Opinions and politics. Intellectuality and creativity, conversation and connections, networking and socializing...
Growing up is quite overwhelming...
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Another poem? Silence Has Got a Sound.
This poem comes with a soundtrack...or maybe the other way around.... play the song while you read... that's how I wrote it...
*******
Lost in a thought
Do you remember who you were
This time a year ago
Maybe two maybe three
And what of you now
Close my eyes and I go back to that place
Of innocence and kiddish curiousness
How have I changed
Or have I at all
The more I listened
The more I looked around me
My thoughts floated away
Into people that mattered
And didn't at the same time
They said so many things
And walked by so many times
With thoughts written on their faces
And feelings kept on their sleeves
What did I look like to them?
Was I the same
A book to read
A metaphor to understand
A symbol of life
To think about for a moment
And then move on
Walk past
With a though for later
Later in the silence
I liked the silence the most
No thoughts, no confusion
Just silence and a feeling
Like eyes opening in slow motion
To a sound unheard by your ears
But by your soul
You see it then
Silence has got a sound.
*******
Lost in a thought
Do you remember who you were
This time a year ago
Maybe two maybe three
And what of you now
Close my eyes and I go back to that place
Of innocence and kiddish curiousness
How have I changed
Or have I at all
The more I listened
The more I looked around me
My thoughts floated away
Into people that mattered
And didn't at the same time
They said so many things
And walked by so many times
With thoughts written on their faces
And feelings kept on their sleeves
What did I look like to them?
Was I the same
A book to read
A metaphor to understand
A symbol of life
To think about for a moment
And then move on
Walk past
With a though for later
Later in the silence
I liked the silence the most
No thoughts, no confusion
Just silence and a feeling
Like eyes opening in slow motion
To a sound unheard by your ears
But by your soul
You see it then
Silence has got a sound.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Poem rant... Don't get it? Neither do I....
Words unsaid in a distant past,
Is it too late now, would it matter,
Things undone in memory,
Like a book with missing pages.
All I have is this here and now,
No rhyme no rhythm no reason,
Like a song I wrote on a wall somewhere,
Faded in the sands of time.
Maybe I'll wake tomorrow,
And I will see something new,
Maybe this chapter will be complete,
The words, they belong to you.
Is it too late now, would it matter,
Things undone in memory,
Like a book with missing pages.
All I have is this here and now,
No rhyme no rhythm no reason,
Like a song I wrote on a wall somewhere,
Faded in the sands of time.
Maybe I'll wake tomorrow,
And I will see something new,
Maybe this chapter will be complete,
The words, they belong to you.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Early morning rant... just another blog post...
I'm trying to get a blog-ball rolling here. If that means posting when I don't want to, well so be it.
A couple of weeks ago, I was at a gathering of a bunch of students. These are the moments that make me feel like college is what is should be. Sometimes I wish that my days would be like a movie, with all the monotonous boring crap cut out. There is a lot of time in between the moments that are actually worth putting in the final cut. So much time in between. Anyway, I deter.
Well at this gathering, many people gave talks and presentations and such. One person in particular, Amad*, gave well, for the lack of a better description, a motivational talk on living day to day life. He said many catchy things such as "Ask yourself everyday, did you live an Oscar worthy day today" (That is where the previous paragraph probably stemmed from) and " Don't wait for opportunity, make yourself an opportunity", or something along the lines of that. It was indeed quite interesting.
Last week, I also found myself spending Wednesday evening at a free screening of 'Flow', which is a movie about a very serious issue pertaining to water and how we are getting royally screwed over by huge ass companies who think that if they have enough money, the world will not blow up. It was a hellova contemplative night. Watch the documentary for free HERE.
A few nights ago, I decided to watch a movie that I hadn't seen in a while. It's called 'Instinct' and it has a bunch of cool actors in it but its apparently unheard of amongst my friends. Its about a very very very complex subject of whether or not we as a human race would have been better off without the creation of the civilized world. It explores the mind of a man living in the wild, or rather, a man living as part of the wild. Yes, it was a thinker. And the acting helped. Watch it. Please.
And in between all of that, I came across a song by Cat Stevens, called 'Father and Son'. The song is in the form of a conversation between an old man and his son. The man keeps telling his son that he needs to calm down and take it easy, that he is young and there is a lot that he has to learn, but the son is stubborn and won't listen. He is in a hurry to grow up and to launch himself into a worldly adventure away from a society that is suffocating him.
Ive also spent last night watching TED talks, after quite a while. It was exactly what my mind needed after getting fucked over and over and over again by all of the aforementioned. The most interesting talk of the night was by THIS GUY, who also happens to be an artist. It turns out that artist are generally interesting people by nature. Think of it this way, wouldn't it be awesome have a conversation over tea with a photographer, who has traveled to three different war-zones and captured photographs that have been on the cover of TIME magazine? Artists transcend their stories into a language that us mango people can appreciate, and at the end of the day, isn't it about just that? Our lives are a collection of stories that include other living entities, and when our time is up on earth, that's all we will have. Memories and stories. Oh yea, THIS GUY could give you a couple of hints on how to be happy. It was a bit too much food for thought, and I'm stuffed. I wonder what would happen if I started today, and began walking down to California. I wonder.
I have to stay here in Toronto a little while longer. Its my big cage, and even though there are corners left to explore, I am stuck in one. It's called UofT St. George. I think I'm being disciplined for something. I don't know what though, atleast not yet. There are moments when I do learn a thing or two. But then there are those monotonous moments in between. Long long moments in between. Sometimes all I can do is wait from one enlightening moment to another, and I forget to go through the boring bits in between. It's only then that I realize that without the TV timeouts and the potty-breaks, the entire movie collapses. What a drag.
I guess there are a lot of things that we can fill those in-between moments with. An interesting book. A spontaneous subway ride to nowhere. Maybe a really good blog post. Something that would revive you every three seconds. That's how long a moment is. Three seconds. Live your life as if the next three seconds are the most important three seconds of your entire life. The next three seconds are the last three seconds of the ball game, you are down by one and the ball is in your court. You take the shot and make it. Those were a great three seconds. Now you have to top it in the next three. Now that's an intense life. That's the kind of life I want.
For now, I shall wait on my daily dose of mindfuckedness and blog-worthy update. I shall see you soon, my beloved three readers.
A couple of weeks ago, I was at a gathering of a bunch of students. These are the moments that make me feel like college is what is should be. Sometimes I wish that my days would be like a movie, with all the monotonous boring crap cut out. There is a lot of time in between the moments that are actually worth putting in the final cut. So much time in between. Anyway, I deter.
Well at this gathering, many people gave talks and presentations and such. One person in particular, Amad*, gave well, for the lack of a better description, a motivational talk on living day to day life. He said many catchy things such as "Ask yourself everyday, did you live an Oscar worthy day today" (That is where the previous paragraph probably stemmed from) and " Don't wait for opportunity, make yourself an opportunity", or something along the lines of that. It was indeed quite interesting.
Last week, I also found myself spending Wednesday evening at a free screening of 'Flow', which is a movie about a very serious issue pertaining to water and how we are getting royally screwed over by huge ass companies who think that if they have enough money, the world will not blow up. It was a hellova contemplative night. Watch the documentary for free HERE.
A few nights ago, I decided to watch a movie that I hadn't seen in a while. It's called 'Instinct' and it has a bunch of cool actors in it but its apparently unheard of amongst my friends. Its about a very very very complex subject of whether or not we as a human race would have been better off without the creation of the civilized world. It explores the mind of a man living in the wild, or rather, a man living as part of the wild. Yes, it was a thinker. And the acting helped. Watch it. Please.
And in between all of that, I came across a song by Cat Stevens, called 'Father and Son'. The song is in the form of a conversation between an old man and his son. The man keeps telling his son that he needs to calm down and take it easy, that he is young and there is a lot that he has to learn, but the son is stubborn and won't listen. He is in a hurry to grow up and to launch himself into a worldly adventure away from a society that is suffocating him.
Ive also spent last night watching TED talks, after quite a while. It was exactly what my mind needed after getting fucked over and over and over again by all of the aforementioned. The most interesting talk of the night was by THIS GUY, who also happens to be an artist. It turns out that artist are generally interesting people by nature. Think of it this way, wouldn't it be awesome have a conversation over tea with a photographer, who has traveled to three different war-zones and captured photographs that have been on the cover of TIME magazine? Artists transcend their stories into a language that us mango people can appreciate, and at the end of the day, isn't it about just that? Our lives are a collection of stories that include other living entities, and when our time is up on earth, that's all we will have. Memories and stories. Oh yea, THIS GUY could give you a couple of hints on how to be happy. It was a bit too much food for thought, and I'm stuffed. I wonder what would happen if I started today, and began walking down to California. I wonder.
I have to stay here in Toronto a little while longer. Its my big cage, and even though there are corners left to explore, I am stuck in one. It's called UofT St. George. I think I'm being disciplined for something. I don't know what though, atleast not yet. There are moments when I do learn a thing or two. But then there are those monotonous moments in between. Long long moments in between. Sometimes all I can do is wait from one enlightening moment to another, and I forget to go through the boring bits in between. It's only then that I realize that without the TV timeouts and the potty-breaks, the entire movie collapses. What a drag.
I guess there are a lot of things that we can fill those in-between moments with. An interesting book. A spontaneous subway ride to nowhere. Maybe a really good blog post. Something that would revive you every three seconds. That's how long a moment is. Three seconds. Live your life as if the next three seconds are the most important three seconds of your entire life. The next three seconds are the last three seconds of the ball game, you are down by one and the ball is in your court. You take the shot and make it. Those were a great three seconds. Now you have to top it in the next three. Now that's an intense life. That's the kind of life I want.
For now, I shall wait on my daily dose of mindfuckedness and blog-worthy update. I shall see you soon, my beloved three readers.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Twinkle part 2.. Its been a while...
She kissed me and I could feel her smile even before her lips left mine. Her warm breath tickled my nose as we finally drew apart. “I need to go now”, she whispered. “Alright…”, I said. “I’m serious! I really need to leave”, the smile still lingered on her face. “Go ahead…”, I said with a fictitious seriousness. She punched my chest, in playful disappointment. “Fuck you!”, she chuckled as she slowly stepped away from me.
I stood there, and watched her walk away. She knew I was watching her but she didn’t dare turn around. She knew too well how that would feed my ego. Such a simple comfort, but it summed up all that we were.
For part 1, click idhar(here).
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