Jam

I like jam toast, strawberry butter always clumpy sweet crunchy crispy yum. Jam on toast, toast on jam, toasted jam untoasted jam :O, just jam, just toast. What?!

There are times of enlightenment. Times that you and I have created and will create. Jam times with peanut butter spoonfuls. Times where this reality is cracked open and filled in like a jelly-jam donut. Imagine swimming in jam. Being one with jam. At the end of the day thats all anybody is doing anyway. Just Jammin'

I'm Goin Mid-evil On Your Punk Ass!

You can't really call it a whim, or a fancy or whatever, because it was calculated. I bought a typewriter, which has now prominently become the centerpiece of my little room. I don't know if and when I will be coming back to my beloved ROTD, but I will make a stop when I feel something needs to be shared. Until then, I am going to truly and selfishly write for one and only one purpose. To contribute to the art of senselessness.

Not every printed word must be clad in a book to be shared with the world and not every story written needs to be told. Sometimes, as a musician would practice his instrument in a lonely room for hours on end, so must a writer write.

I am not yet an artist, not even a painter, but know this, I am born.

Night One

For some time, my day to day life has lacked an immediate purpose. That is why I've decided to take on something concrete tonight. Its simple and yet I hope that I'm not making a stupid, stupid decision. But right now I need any decision and I am content with this one.

It's a simple vow of silence. I know the idea sounds ridiculously stupid and immature, but to be honest, I really don't care about being stupid and immature, not when I know that I'm still a kid.

Taking a vow of complete silence is a bit radical for anyone, so I am going to allow myself one single conversation a day and only if it is completely and utterly necessary. I'm also going to log my days on this blog, not everyday but when I feel the need. Maybe if I lose less words while speaking, I will have more words for here.

So this is night one, and I already feel breathless. Sounds like the next few days are gonna be fun...

Insurge of Rants.... See You Tomorrow...

I find myself telling my three readers oh so often about the confusion that is my sight, and how ever so often I find myself in a moment of clarity. It's true, and I like talking about it a lot.

There was a time quite a while ago, when the confusion didn't really matter at all. It was kind of inconsequential in the bigger scheme of things, and well I just chose to be happy all the time. Somehow, things just seemed to work out.

Off late, I have let go of that, and I have let my blurred vision trouble me again and again and again. Its tough when your confusion actually does affect the greater scheme of things....

And then I got to thinking last night. How selfish of me to make MY greater scheme of things into THE greater scheme of things. Where along the line did I develop this ego? At school, I was part of a family. I gave to that family without a second thought. At university, I lost somebody to give unconditionally to. It was supposed to be my time. Help the world by first helping myself. I always hated it when my mum said that the most I could do for her was my homework.

The more I write this week, the more I realize how this blog is turning more into Ramblings of the Woeful College Kid. I guess there are repercussions of each and every one of my decisions now. Scrutiny and judgment. I wonder how people actually find this life fun.

But today, I'm gonna be happy. I don't really care about whats going to happen in September or where my life is going.

I'm going to make a plan to deal with school. A one day at a time plan. I think I'm going to go live today now.

See you tomorrow.

Random Rant... Sleepless part 2

I lay my thoughts on the ground beside me
I lean tired against the door
And even though I long to dream
I lie sleepless on the floor