DOH! oh well..............

ive grown up.... crap!

i had avoided it up to this point, but it just happened without any warning.Truth is, i never had control over it(whatever it is)... its just one of those things that happens without you even noticing, one of those things that just falls into place by itself. Of course its a culmination of all the small instances that i have experienced and it will be one endlesssss process which begins and ends int the 'now', getting more and more dull as time passes by....

But i don't want to lose myself. I don't want to lose that kid that defines me because that is who i really am. And so i shall forever hold on to donuts and empty ink cartridges, because i know that when i do lose him, i would become the equivalent of a deep fried sareli bengan.... n i don't wanna be a deep fried sareli bengan

i believe that everything happens or dosen't happen for a reason... be it growing up, or being at a certain place at a certain time... or just simply being. because i believe that if i can unconsciously do something like grow up... imagine all the other stuff that im doing, scheming and thinking of without me even knowing it myself!! i could have a master plan to take over the world and i would never know it.....

maybe these are the real strings that control our lives.... maybe we dont really have control over anything... the decisions we make.. the path we choose... all already done at a deeeeeep subconscious level... and all we gotsa do is say the words


well... i have complete faith in.... umm ... i dont know what yet... but i know that everythings gonna be alright.....its just meant to be