Purpose

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you just run out of things? Run out of things to do, to say, to make, to be.. just run out? It's a strange feeling. Just blankness, both physically and mentally. Really strange....

I'm sitting at my desk at work, waiting on a meeting to start. I've done most of my to-do items for the morning, and now I find myself just sitting. I open up a web browser, and since I've been on a brief hiatus from the vortex that is FaceBook, I stare at Google, wondering what to do next. So I open up CraigsList and check out the Guitars and other instruments that people are selling. I fantasize a bit about moving out of my apartment and check out the Housing page for a bit. I'm already bored and it's occurring to me how useless I'm being. 

I attempt to think of creating a new project, or a list of things that I have to do. I come up with a few. Laundry, finish that painting... can't even remember the rest of the list.. that's how dreary it seems. The point I'm trying to get to here is this... I know that I haven't run out of things to do. I have shit tonnes of things to do. Some of them even fun things. But I still feel this looming sort of 'meh fuck it' feeling. 

It's a tough question to ask oneself... What is my purpose? What should I be doing with my life. What do I want to be doing with my life. What will make me happy right now? 

It's times like these that I turn to the wisdom of Denny Crane:

Denny Crane: Edwin Poole's problem is he doesn't like being Edwin Poole. From time to time he'd look in the mirror and ask, "What's the point?" I never do that. Questions like that'll kill you.

Alan Shore: Questions like, "What's the point?"

Denny Crane: Look--take you for example. Tomorrow, you're gonna go into court and argue that some little fat black kid should be able to play a little skinny white one. What's the point? You don't ask-that's the point.

I don't have any answers here... only this feeling... I feel that a change in some way is needed... lets try that first :).