Examotions Part 2 - Physics

Its about an hour before my physics exam and i am filled with mixed feelings... physics in modern high has always been about finishing whats on the index page so i could cross it out, and sometimes i do regret not taking out that little time to know something extra...

Somehow, everything seems to make sense and everything has a reason in the world of physics. All the rules and laws binding us all to this place is basically what physics is about... Reminds me of the things in this world that are just out of our control... feels nice not to have control over everything in my life...

I like physics because it is perfect in every respect... theres always a logical solution to every question. Physics is the epitome of idealism ... almost like a dreamworld... that world of physics is an ideal world of awesome perfection and this is what makes physics pretty cool...

still cant wait to get it over with though :P

Examotions Volume 2 part 1 - ELit

February is nowhere near the shortest month in the year. Well the buzz nowadays is focused on this new studying fad, and because my school is different, all the cool kids are doin it...

Tis roughly 11 hours before my literature test, and this weekend has been very up-and-down for me... literature has always forced me to ask questions about how i am living my own life and it pushes me to think a lot... and thinking is very tiring...
Here are some of the questions that have gone through my mind... maybe if i share them with you, you could find something new about yourself...

I have lived my life grabbing each and every opportunity that i could.. making the best of it... i have won praise and respect... when i leave this place, what will that be worth?

I have lived quite an eventful life, full of people, memories and experiences both good and bad... if i had the chance, would i live it over again and do things differently? What do i have to regret?
If i die tomorrow, could i say that i was ready? does my life really belong to me?

Have i ever witnessed something majestic? Have i ever felt complete, enlightened, full? Have i ever been able to connect with anything at the most profound level... how shallow have i been, and what has it blinded me from seeing? Do i really cherish the small, inanimate, silent things in life?

To what extent would i go to get what i want? would i be able to let go of things i love to discover something new? how would i be able to deal with change and goodbyes?

Sorry billy, but i disagree with you on this... Confusion hath yet to make its masterpiece

p.s if u want the daily scoop on our exams like Anish had documented them last year... you will find it here

change

shaun marion got traded to the heat, and shaq came to the suns.. marcus banks' story got lost somewhere in between...

change is hard. its really hard. letting go is worse... leaving something behind and moving onto new things... we did it in that poem .. Journey of the Magi... something about every death being a necessity for a rebirth.

i remember as a kid... when i was over at Sahil/Kapils place... i never wanted to go home.. i would fight with my mom to let me stay over after a party... i never wanted it to end....

its in my nature to hold on to things tightly... never come down from the high of the rainbow...even though coming down might carry the possibility of a pot of gold tomorrow...

as a kid... i was innocent... i lived in the moment and i never wanted that moment to end.....

so tell me... am i wrong? am i wrong in wanting to live this moment forever instead of growing up and learning something new? please tell me


p.s sorry nishant... im not really bothering about punctuation... i know it might be more difficult to read and all that... but im really too lazy :P

Extreme rant...where to begin.. simple perfection

i have a lot to write, but im not going to write it all at once, because each post is very different from the other.. im going to start tho with this one. its an i-like-to-return-to-the-classics kind of thing dating back to the time when there was this emotion.....

well...theres this emotion :D its momentary, a flicker a snatch of for-the-lack-of-a-better-word-enlightenent.

I don't know many basketball players personally. Infact, i can count the number of people that i know enjoy the game. I play basketball, and i know many a person that finds this strange, because like all sports, it is a very strange avocation.

But theres something enchanting about basketball. For that one moment, one split second, when i jump and toss the ball with subconscious-awesome-precision, and the ball finds nothing but the bottom of the net... swwwwwwwiishh

that is perfection. It cannot get better than that feeling, that moment of elation-joy-awesome. It is then that i feel that nothing separates MJ the great from Udai the 5'7" tosser. The next shot could be a brick, but it is in that moment... that moment...It cannot get better than that.

Extreme Rant - Amalgamation

have you ever felt like the world around you is falling apart. just like a bad dream or a really horrible movie that you dont really want to watch, things begin to go wrong. theres this intense feeling of lonliness as if you are the only one who can see these things around you fall apart. nobody can understand the feeling i feel right now. i am the only one who feels it. others could feel the same way as i do. they could experience the same twist of emotions, but there is only one me. you cannot be me and feel this.

sympathy is hard to come by in a world of shameful silence. i type these words being an utmost hypocrite. a cynic and a useless bystander... chosing not to do anything about it...

when had i made this choice?

have you ever felt like you are missing out? the intensity of an mp3 recording is near to lifeless. the songs on the radio seem to forever be trapped. the winds seem restricted.... the rain falls with permission... so whats left? why does time play these tricks with me. i know that nobody belongs to time... and yet we all do belong to time... why does it tempt me with things it cannot give me?

everytime i jump, i come back to the ground. two feet high... maybe a few more inches... and then i return. one second... maybe another moment... and then i return.

everything that leaves the ground must return, a law discovered by a man who sat under an apple tree. it was nature that showed him the light....

who is nature? can i befriend nature, request her to change her laws... to make an exception.

i have gone through this moment so many times in my head. i dream about it, even when im not asleep... and yet i dont want it bad enough. if i wanted it so much... if i needed it... i would grab it with both hands, because i can see it...

it lies on a shelf... 10 feet above my head...

so now i stand at a junction and i ask you... whoever you are... to give me strenght
give me strength to rise above myself... to flood this land with the awesome passion that fills me...
or else drain me... drain me and my spirit and my soul... for i shall be worth nothing but dry dust that covers the walls in eternal wait.